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I've driven, and owned, a variety of BMWs and other cars that have had varying levels of suspension - from the latest generation Range Rover (very soft ride, very boring to drive), Alpina XB7 (perfect balance IMHO) to the X6MC and 911 C4GTS (very firm, very fun).
My XM is on 23s and I'd put it *slightly* more compliant than the X6MC.
Drive an X5MC or X6MC in Comfort mode - if you can live with that, the XM will be better. If you can't...
I fully agree with @TXSchnee - suspension is a very individual thing. However, I had the same concerns you did - and the XM is perfect for me.
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