Funny old week

TouringPleb · 06-08-2018, 03:02 PM

Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. That day ended with rolling round on the floor with some complete cock who had smashed his ex's house up. Drew my taser on him.

Yesterday nicked two for theft of bricks to the value of Ã‚Â£26k!!! Apparently they were driving HGVs off a building site full of bricks! So spent the day taking statements, interviewing and investigating that.

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Update: after waiting nearly 4 hours in A&E got sent home with concussion and told not to come in tonight (to work that is, not A&E!) or I'll be sent home again.

F30Andy · 06-08-2018, 03:04 PM

Bloody hell. And the weekend has just started!

At least you didn't have me failing to stop on top of all of that.

TouringPleb · 06-08-2018, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F30Andy

Bloody hell. And the weekend has just started!

At least you didn't have me failing to stop on top of all of that.

There is that

Derrymilk · 06-08-2018, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. That day ended with rolling round on the floor with some complete cock who had smashed his ex's house up. Drew my taser on him.

Yesterday nicked two for theft of bricks to the value of £26k!!! Apparently they were driving HGVs off a building site full of bricks! So spent the day taking statements, interviewing and investigating that.

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Would like to see you carting all those bricks into the evidence room

Hooded · 06-08-2018, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. That day ended with rolling round on the floor with some complete cock who had smashed his ex's house up. Drew my taser on him.

Yesterday nicked two for theft of bricks to the value of £26k!!! Apparently they were driving HGVs off a building site full of bricks! So spent the day taking statements, interviewing and investigating that.

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Never a dull moment aye

Stitches? .. expect a long wait on a Friday night in A&E

SkyJawa · 06-08-2018, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Body cam footage or it didn’t happen!

Wills2 · 06-08-2018, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. That day ended with rolling round on the floor with some complete cock who had smashed his ex's house up. Drew my taser on him.

Yesterday nicked two for theft of bricks to the value of £26k!!! Apparently they were driving HGVs off a building site full of bricks! So spent the day taking statements, interviewing and investigating that.

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Wow, well keep up the good work as not many could cope with that, but I'm grateful you guys do.

Cheers

XAlp · 06-08-2018, 03:39 PM

Irish man goes into B&Q and asks for bricks suitable to build a barbecue. Assistant points him to the correct variety and asks "how many will you be needing?". Paddy replies "24 tonnes please". "Isn't that rather a lot?". "I don't think so I live on the 17th floor".

TouringPleb · 06-08-2018, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyJawa

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice.

Body cam footage or it didn’t happen!

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

teaston · 06-08-2018, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

Bloody ell! Was she fit?

SkyJawa · 06-08-2018, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

R0B · 06-08-2018, 03:58 PM

26k of bricks!

At least you have the foundation for a concrete prosecution.

JD6 · 06-08-2018, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

Glad there are some perks to go along with all the crap!

Hope you get priority at A&E.

Derrymilk · 06-08-2018, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

....pulling up a chair

OneExtra · 06-08-2018, 04:59 PM

I admire you and respect the work you do.

I spent all week working from home and looking at cars on AutoTrader

I am such a hermit sometimes, I was told I have to go to Düsseldorf for a meeting and was pissed off as I can't be bothered.

Need to get a grip

Nobby Clark · 06-08-2018, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. .

Tell me his name wasn’t Alex.

too hot · 06-08-2018, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TouringPleb

Oh there's plenty of that!

Including where the naked lady, restrained on the stretcher in the ambulance, started touching herself intimately!

They never are fit

Drek · 06-08-2018, 05:43 PM

Drove around yet another dead motorcyclist in the road with claret streaming from his napper, almost a regular occurrence with zero fucks given by the police.

Soul_Glo · 06-09-2018, 12:23 AM

TouringPleb

Soul_Glo · 06-09-2018, 02:23 AM

Not as funny as last year when he caught two lads. One had been swallowing batteries and the other fireworks. At the police station one was let off and the other was charged.

Nobby Clark · 06-09-2018, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Surg_Capt_R

Not as funny as last year when he caught two lads. One had been swallowing batteries and the other fireworks. At the police station one was let off and the other was charged.

CREDIT: Dad Jokes.

Junebug85 · 06-09-2018, 04:29 AM

As soon as you said naked lady, everyone's focus shifted to that

Hope you're feeling better

06-08-2018, 03:02 PM	#1
TouringPleb Brigadier General 4372 Rep 4,230 Posts Drives: SRB 440i GC Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Cambs iTrader: (0)	Started with arresting a peadophile, then finding a high risk suicidal male. That day ended with rolling round on the floor with some complete cock who had smashed his ex's house up. Drew my taser on him. Yesterday nicked two for theft of bricks to the value of Ã‚Â£26k!!! Apparently they were driving HGVs off a building site full of bricks! So spent the day taking statements, interviewing and investigating that. Now waiting at A&E after being bottled round the head by a naked woman off her head on spice. Update: after waiting nearly 4 hours in A&E got sent home with concussion and told not to come in tonight (to work that is, not A&E!) or I'll be sent home again.
	Appreciate 6 JD64273.50 Junebug851626.50 Soul_Glo13360.50 2252285.00 Jonesy7271.50 hudson012003168.50 Tweet Quote

06-08-2018, 03:04 PM	#2
F30Andy Brigadier General 1777 Rep 3,490 Posts Drives: An Entire Fleet Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: UK iTrader: (0)	Bloody hell. And the weekend has just started! At least you didn't have me failing to stop on top of all of that.
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06-08-2018, 03:39 PM	#8
XAlp Major 483 Rep 1,357 Posts Drives: Volvo XC90 T6 Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: Cambridge iTrader: (0)	Irish man goes into B&Q and asks for bricks suitable to build a barbecue. Assistant points him to the correct variety and asks "how many will you be needing?". Paddy replies "24 tonnes please". "Isn't that rather a lot?". "I don't think so I live on the 17th floor". __________________ Previously: 2007 Alpina D3 Saloon, 2010 Alpina D3 Biturbo Saloon, 2014 335d XDrive M Sport+ Touring. Now: 2018 Volvo XC90 T6 Inscription Pro 2003 Honda S2000
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06-08-2018, 03:58 PM	#12
R0B Colonel 1535 Rep 2,217 Posts Drives: a car Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Location Location iTrader: (0)	26k of bricks! At least you have the foundation for a concrete prosecution.
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06-08-2018, 04:59 PM	#15
OneExtra Lieutenant Colonel 811 Rep 1,847 Posts Drives: None Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: England iTrader: (0)	I admire you and respect the work you do. I spent all week working from home and looking at cars on AutoTrader I am such a hermit sometimes, I was told I have to go to Düsseldorf for a meeting and was pissed off as I can't be bothered. Need to get a grip
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06-08-2018, 05:43 PM	#18
Drek Major 579 Rep 1,215 Posts Drives: Ferrari F430 F1 Join Date: Jan 2015 Location: West Berkshire iTrader: (0)	Drove around yet another dead motorcyclist in the road with claret streaming from his napper, almost a regular occurrence with zero fucks given by the police. __________________ Ferrari F430 Spider F1 RRS Autobiography 2CV6 Special www.bmwland.org.uk
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06-09-2018, 12:23 AM	#19
Soul_Glo Major General 13361 Rep 7,484 Posts Drives: G20 Join Date: May 2013 Location: Manhattan, NYC iTrader: (1)	TouringPleb
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06-09-2018, 02:23 AM	#20
Soul_Glo Major General 13361 Rep 7,484 Posts Drives: G20 Join Date: May 2013 Location: Manhattan, NYC iTrader: (1)	Not as funny as last year when he caught two lads. One had been swallowing batteries and the other fireworks. At the police station one was let off and the other was charged.
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06-09-2018, 04:29 AM	#22
Junebug85 Colonel 1627 Rep 2,278 Posts Drives: BMW 540i xDrive - M Sport Plus Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: UK iTrader: (0)	As soon as you said naked lady, everyone's focus shifted to that Hope you're feeling better __________________ IG: project540ix G30 540i xDrive / Stage 3 via BM3 / xHP Stage 3 / Pure 800 Cast Turbo / 5" Catted Downpipe / MST Intake / Remus Exhaust / MSS Springs / 19" JR SL01 & Conti SC7 / 20" BBS CI-R & Michelin PS4S / F90 Sway Bars & Braces / Lots of Gloss Black
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