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      09-24-2005, 03:47 AM   #1
lux.sh
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Money problem. With your friends or girl. how do you handle it?

Ok, let me begin with saying, $$$ PROBLEM SUCKS!!

How do you guys deal with money issues or deals with your
girlfriend or very close friends?

Like when you let them borrow money and they don't pay you back.
or they forgot about it. but you really need it back, but you are afraid
to ask for it because you might be treated as a "greedy guy/gal".

Like when they only remember how much they let you borrow,
but they don't remember how much you let them borrow..

or ANYTHING. god, I hate dealing with $$$ crap when it comes
down to close relationship people. I know its smart not to begin
at all, but there are times when you have NO choice..
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      09-24-2005, 06:53 AM   #2
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Friends...., pay friends back.
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      09-24-2005, 07:13 AM   #3
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yup if they are really your friends, then they will pay u back. im kinda goin through the same situation right now, but i have faith that my friend will pay me back when he is able to.
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      09-24-2005, 10:37 AM   #4
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Hey lux.sh, ever read the Bible? One of the most important things it explicitly says is NEVER LEND MONEY

Seriously, though...lending money to anyone isn't a hot idea. If my "friends" hit me up for cash, I'd tell them to get bent (but in a nice way). If my girl (who is purely imaginative right now) needed money, you know I'd definitely help her--but without getting carried away.

Good thing for me I have no girl or friends, so I spend all my time on the forum which is free (except the internet bill every month, but I can deal with that!)
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      09-24-2005, 12:33 PM   #5
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..its a tough call...ive lent money out to my friends, but only my close ones, unless they are in a really bad bind....as for getting the money back, i always hint at it jokingly to bring up the subject...always seem to work for me and i dont seem like an ass...
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      09-24-2005, 12:43 PM   #6
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Well, it depends on the amount. If i let my bf borrow money, i usually dont ask for it back (he'll make it up to me somehow...) But if its a pretty hefty amount, we usually set up a payment plan haha.. i once let him borrow $600 and he paid me $100 a week. As for my friends-like i said, if its a small amount, i dont care. It all depends on situations, if my friends needed alot and it was VERY important, ill help em.. but i try to avoid these situations as much as possible. I dont like knowing i owe someone money or someone owes me money.
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      09-24-2005, 01:12 PM   #7
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i don't have any friends so i don't have that problem. as far as my boyfriend, yeah he's probably like $20k in debt to me, but there's nothing I can do about that now.
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      09-24-2005, 01:15 PM   #8
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hot damn 20K i thought i had it bad with my friends oweing 5K-ish....
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      09-24-2005, 01:50 PM   #9
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I lent 6k to my brother in law and he paid me back really quick. I dont care about 20 here and there, but if its a real amount and they did not pay me back they would see the inside of my trunk. LOL well if it was a lot they would be in it but not seeing anything. Really I dont let out money unless I really trust them and know I will get it back quick! Business is Business
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      09-24-2005, 01:52 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki
i don't have any friends so i don't have that problem. as far as my boyfriend, yeah he's probably like $20k in debt to me, but there's nothing I can do about that now.
Damn Nikki you need to send a collection agency after him or a big dude with lots of tatts. I will collect from him for a small fee. JK I guess he is a lucky guy to have a sugar mommy.
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      09-24-2005, 03:08 PM   #11
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I don't "lend" money to friends or ask to borrow them from friends either. Never a good situation.

If a friend asks to borrow money from me I know the relationship is over. Either I say "no" and I'm the ass and never hear from them again. Or, I say yes and look at it as a payoff for them to go away. Once you lend money to a "friend" you will not hear from them again. I would never give money to a friend and expect to get it back... just bad.

Lending $100 is the cheapest way to get someone out of your life.
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      09-24-2005, 03:18 PM   #12
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money is the root of all evil......
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      09-25-2005, 10:31 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petercat
Once you lend money to a "friend" you will not hear from them again.
I AGREE! One of the biggest reasons I don't bother with any of my old friends anymore is because I've found every one of them was entirely just looking out for themselves. In my case, it wasn't money...just other things. Here I was always helping my friends with homework, fixing their computer, driving them here or there, doing this, doing that, and then when I needed their help...what friend? Oh sorry, I'm going out with my girl or something...I can't be bothered. It's like the old saying, they only know you when they want something.

Well, screw that! That's why I'm still waiting for the right girl to come around. But as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather have no friends than have the ones I've had. Screw them all!

But hey Nikki, you said your boyfriend is like 20k in debt...guess what I'm in like 27k in debt to BMW financial and I've made like 6 payments already!
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      09-26-2005, 01:16 PM   #14
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Only Lend money that you are ok with never gettiing back. Otherwise talk to them ahead of time about when and how they are going to pay you back.
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      09-26-2005, 03:49 PM   #15
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when it comes to money or buisness never involve your friends. they just mix. unless you are prepare to lose a friend
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      09-26-2005, 04:24 PM   #16
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but when your friend goes, "hey man, I really wanted to buy this, or I really
needed this, can you please please let me borrow some money?
I'll pay you right back."

How can you say NO! in this situation to your friend.. I can't do it.
Unless I really don't have any money.
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      09-26-2005, 04:48 PM   #17
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Im very surprised to see how cold some of u sound. i mean i could be wrong but i dont think any of us are really struggling for cash since we all seem to have been able to blow about 40 g's on a brand new car. now i may be a bit naive, but whats a couple hundred between friends? now dont get me wrong, i would only loan money to my true friends, people who i really trust and have a lot of faith in, guys who i pretty much consider to be family. now how can u let money get in the way of something like that?
as for my current situation, i let one of my friends borrow $400 because he got into some trouble with the law and really needed the cash fast. now its been a little over 2 months and i still havnt seen it back but u know what? it really doesnt bother me and do u know why? because i didnt need $400 at the time and at the end of the day i know that i helped one of my friends that was really really in need. the thought of knowing i had $400 that i wasnt even going to use and being too cheap to help a friend in need would have made me feel much much worse then not getting that money back. it would probably be something i wouldve regreted for a very long time. now whats all this nonesense about if a friend asks u for money u know the relationship is over? that just seems so wrong to me. come on guys there are more important things in this life than money!
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      09-26-2005, 05:39 PM   #18
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This is one of those discussions that will depend on the particular situation or circumstance. Friendship has nothing to do with money and those who mix the two without knowing how to separate the two will be disappointed. Much like oil and water, they don't mix very well -- when you do mix them, it is very difficult to get 100% of the oil out of the water.

I know someone who is a habitual borrower of money, whether it is for a good reason or not, he will borrow. It's human nature...just learn to say NO!
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      09-26-2005, 06:29 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurupt1811
come on guys there are more important things in this life than money!
HUH! Money makes the world go 'round, my friend .

Nah, I'm only kidding Kurupt1811. You are definitely right. I wish there were more people who thought that way. We definitely wouldn't have the problems we have today. I'd even go so far as to say we as mankind would excel 100x more than we do now in areas of medicine and technology if people did things in the name of the common good, rather than so they, themselves could selfishly be a better consumer.

Don't get the wrong idea--I'm not a communist for crying out loud Our capitalist system is good in that we encourage "be the best you can be, hire the best man for the job..." that sort of thing. But money is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions. But I see what you are saying and if you lend money to people you really trust, then there is no problem with that and I would most certainly do the same.

But I think the reason everyone is so cold is because there is always the matter of trust. You should feel lucky that you actually have friends that you can really trust. That's more than I can say. Like I said before, the friends I thought I had would make me brand new if I went out of my way for them. And in a way, I guess they already did.
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      09-27-2005, 01:51 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sharp1183
You should feel lucky that you actually have friends that you can really trust. That's more than I can say. Like I said before, the friends I thought I had would make me brand new if I went out of my way for them. And in a way, I guess they already did.
i guess i am pretty blessed to have some of the friends i have. you seem to have had some really tough experiences in your life with friendship. believe me i feel your pain and "fakeness" really does make me .

like Pac said, keep ya head up, im sure some honest people will walk into your life soon!
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      09-27-2005, 08:47 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurupt1811

like Pac said, keep ya head up, im sure some honest people will walk into your life soon!
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      09-27-2005, 10:51 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurupt1811
Im very surprised to see how cold some of u sound. i mean i could be wrong but i dont think any of us are really struggling for cash since we all seem to have been able to blow about 40 g's on a brand new car. now i may be a bit naive, but whats a couple hundred between friends? now dont get me wrong, i would only loan money to my true friends, people who i really trust and have a lot of faith in, guys who i pretty much consider to be family. now how can u let money get in the way of something like that?
as for my current situation, i let one of my friends borrow $400 because he got into some trouble with the law and really needed the cash fast. now its been a little over 2 months and i still havnt seen it back but u know what? it really doesnt bother me and do u know why? because i didnt need $400 at the time and at the end of the day i know that i helped one of my friends that was really really in need. the thought of knowing i had $400 that i wasnt even going to use and being too cheap to help a friend in need would have made me feel much much worse then not getting that money back. it would probably be something i wouldve regreted for a very long time. now whats all this nonesense about if a friend asks u for money u know the relationship is over? that just seems so wrong to me. come on guys there are more important things in this life than money!
this is true. but beleive me, when it comes down to money, it changes people. just wait and see. hey i agree with you. but when money is involve damn you'll be suprise.
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