[BimmerBoomer]

My wife had a stroke two years ago, so we have an accessible parking permit. We were at Costco today and after she completed her shopping I pulled into an accessible parking spot to load the car. A guy in a Chrysler 300 pulled in front of me and through his phoney fixed smile said "My mother sure could use that parking spot." I said we'd be about five minutes. That wasn't enough to move him on and the conversation ended badly (for him). The interesting thing is that I've been challenged many times now over accessible parking, and I've never seen anyone in any other vehicle being confronted: even vehicles without a pass on display, which of course we have.

[FC4]

[Blubaron79]

I know. People all think we are pricks. You get front and center with the handicapped parking.

[Halsifer]

Originally Posted by BimmerBoomer

My wife had a stroke two years ago, so we have an accessible parking permit. We were at Costco today and after she completed her shopping I pulled into an accessible parking spot to load the car. A guy in a Chrysler 300 pulled in front of me and through his phoney fixed smile said "My mother sure could use that parking spot." I said we'd be about five minutes. That wasn't enough to move him on and the conversation ended badly (for him). The interesting thing is that I've been challenged many times now over accessible parking, and I've never seen anyone in any other vehicle being confronted: even vehicles without a pass on display, which of course we have.

I mean, I doubt someone looks at your car and thinks, "It's a BMW. I should bother him about where he's parking." It's most likely because you are using the accessible permit given to your wife. Although we know your wife may need it, people probably see a you, a healthy man, taking advantage of the permit to load his groceries while the other people may have someone that truly have troubles walking and would like to use the spot.

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, you are with your wife, but that's what other people probably see. I'm sure people confront you because of how you appear, rather than the car you drive because I'm sure they could care less.

On a side note, sometimes D-bags use handicapped spots, with no permit, just because their lazy to load stuff in or want a big parking spot, I see it all the time here. In fact, there is a kid that always parks in the handicap spot on my campus and just sits there while his friends run in to turn in papers. Everyday. Complete D-bag move to people that need, but people do it. (This kid happened to have a e92 M3, but that's just coincidence.) And that is another reason why people may approach, because they may be using a parking spot that they shouldn't be using while others need it.

[BimmerBoomer]

Originally Posted by Halsifer

I mean, I doubt someone looks at your car and thinks, "It's a BMW. I should bother him about where he's parking." It's most likely because you are using the accessible permit given to your wife. Although we know your wife may need it, people probably see a you, a healthy man, taking advantage of the permit to load his groceries while the other people may have someone that truly have troubles walking and would like to use the spot.

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong, you are with your wife, but that's what other people probably see. I'm sure people confront you because of how you appear, rather than the car you drive because I'm sure they could care less.

On a side note, sometimes D-bags use handicapped spots, with no permit, just because their lazy to load stuff in or want a big parking spot, I see it all the time here. In fact, there is a kid that always parks in the handicap spot on my campus and just sits there while his friends run in to turn in papers. Everyday. Complete D-bag move to people that need, but people do it. (This kid happened to have a e92 M3, but that's just coincidence.) And that is another reason why people may approach, because they may be using a parking spot that they shouldn't be using while others need it.

I think it should be fairly obvious that I'm waiting, since I'm standing by the car. And it's a fairly simple thing to look on the dash for the permit if someone is suspicious: plenty of people do that too! But generally people are loathe to confront other people unless there's a stereotype in play.

[Halsifer]

Originally Posted by BimmerBoomer

I think it should be fairly obvious that I'm waiting, since I'm standing by the car. And it's a fairly simple thing to look on the dash for the permit if someone is suspicious: plenty of people do that too! But generally people are loathe to confront other people unless there's a stereotype in play.

I didn't know you were standing by the car, you just mentioned you were pulling in the space. But I'm sure he wouldn't get out of his car in the middle of the street to look at your permit either. He saw you standing there, probably thought you were just waiting for someone, which you were (similar to the M3 kid I just explained) and confronted you about it. Clearly, you were in the right, you had the permit, unlike the M3 kid, but in the case that you didn't is the reason why he approached. Again, I highly doubt it has anything to do with it being an BMW.

If he felt bitter about you having a 435i xDrive, beautiful choice by the way (wish I chose that myself), he would have probably brought it into conversation or something. But again, it's simply people taking entitlement to the handicapped permit his mother has, the same entitlement your wife has, to use that spot if you were just sitting there with 'no permit', which wasn't the case since you were clearly in the right.

I have been confronted before for parking in places, BMW or not. My friend has been confronted about using his mother's accessible permit while he was locking his 4runner and she was already in the mall. I have confronted people as well. I don't really care what car they drive, it's a matter of whether or not they should be parking there if I have the right away.

[nicknaz]

Originally Posted by Blubaron79

People all think we are pricks. You get front and center with the handicapped parking.

+1

People see what they want to see based on whatever stereotypes they have in their heads

Don't worry about it OP. You know you had a right to be there.

[sr5959]

I was waiting in a Costco parking lot for my gf to arrive in her car; a woman smacked my driver's door window hard with her keys in her hand because the car's rear lights were on (they stay on until you lock from outside). She thought I was about to leave and got mad I didn't! Don't really think it's because I was in a BMW I think Costco brings out the crazies...

[FC4]

Most of you think you are being perceived a certain way just because you're driving a BMW when that's not really the case. But hey...that just speaks to the demographic.

Maybe if you live in the middle of nowhere, the village mechanic/locksmith/gynecologist might look at you funny drivin' one of them new fangled you-ro-peein cars.

[BimmerBoomer]

Originally Posted by FC4

Most of you think you are being perceived a certain way just because you're driving a BMW when that's not really the case. But hey...that just speaks to the demographic.

Maybe if you live in the middle of nowhere, the village mechanic/locksmith/gynecologist might look at you funny drivin' one of them new fangled you-ro-peein cars.

"speaks to the demographic"? So, your stereotype of a BMW driver is (fill in the blanks (age, sex, economic status)) who thinks he (or she) is being stereotyped?

[FC4]

Originally Posted by BimmerBoomer

"speaks to the demographic"? So, your stereotype of a BMW driver is (fill in the blanks (age, sex, economic status)) who thinks he (or she) is being stereotyped?

Yes. I've stereotyped drivers of BMWs as those who constantly think they're being stereotyped for driving a BMW. Isn't irony great?

But, really...these aren't Rolls Royce Phantoms here, people. No one's looking at us any differently.

[Halsifer]

Originally Posted by FC4

Yes. I've stereotyped drivers of BMWs as those who constantly think they're being stereotyped for driving a BMW. Isn't irony great?

But, really...these aren't Rolls Royce Phantoms here, people. No one's looking at us any differently.

I oddly agree. I don't even think these stereotypes apply in so many situations, the OP's being one of them. The OP had every right to be in that spot and tell that person off, no doubt about that. I would have reacted the same exact way the OP in a heartbeat. But, I wouldn't think it's because I have a BMW.

I feel like a lot of people on the forums default to, "They are only singling me out because I drive a BMW." which is rarely the case. Like the guy that posted how he parked in a parking lot and called some guy a douche because he parked next to his 328i. It's taking a small situation and thinking the whole world is out to get them because they have a BMW. If the guy told the OP something like, "Do you have to park your BMW there?" or something similar, then of course I'd believe it and would totally agree with the OP. "My mother sure could use that parking spot." is not an example of people's reactions to BMWs, that's called being assertive, no stereotype needed.

An example of true hateful reaction to BMWs? There was a poster a while ago who said how some guy rammed his cart into his cart because his car, 'looked too new' and thought it needed a scratch or two. Now that is maliciously towards the fact of it's because it's a new BMW, I'll 100% give him that.

[BimmerBoomer]

It is fairly rare for Canadians to be assertive in this way. No, I think this guy clearly thought he saw someone who shouldn't be taking up an accessible parking spot. The only question is whether the BMW contributed to his quick - and incorrect - appraisal. And to continue the irony...he was using his mother's permit. Anyone who has read Malcolm Gladwell's Blink should recognize the behaviour here. And there's no reason to think he should be aware that the BMW contributed to his faulty grasp of the situation.

[newoldbeemer]

It could be as much about the costcos as the bmws. Waiting in long lines and clamoring for parking for a long time does something to people's moods. Beats me why my friends wait in those ridiculously long lines to fill costco gas in their $600/pm cars. The gas is not THAT cheap.

[FC4]

Originally Posted by newoldbeemer

It could be as much about the costcos as the bmws. Waiting in long lines and clamoring for parking for a long time does something to people's moods. Beats me why my friends wait in those ridiculously long lines to fill costco gas in their $600/pm cars. The gas is not THAT cheap.

Eww...you're friends with people who use Costco gas? They must not drive Ultimate Driving Machines.

[amoeba]

Is your wife still disabled? What I see a lot are people whose ailment are no longer applicable but they continue to use the placard. Hence the confusion/anger.

[BimmerBoomer]

My wife wasn't on the scene, and the guy didn't check to see if I had a permit. So how do you think your impertinent question should be treated? I would suggest that if you're often confused and angry when parking you seek professional help.

[amoeba]

Oh it's perfectly pertinent. Eyebrows are always raised when we see a non-disabled person parking in a disabled location. I wouldn't care because like ppl have said, the disabled friend/family could be in the store. I'm inferring the reason why others who confront you, without seeing the disabled person, would be confused/angered.

But now you got me curious so please help me understand. Once a person suffers an unfortunate stroke, is the placard provided long-term due to lack of mobility? Do people still use the placard if mobility is restored?

[grimlock]

There aren't many handicapped drivers here however on two occasions I have had some guy and his family stop rather inconveniently (for me) in front of me in a manner that can only be interpreted as they have a subconcious wish that I should share in their inconvenience. However, it is THEIR damn family member, not mine.. it just goes to show some people's warped, entitled attitude.
"I'm in a wheelchair - you must stop for me!"
NO. I will stop if I feel you deserve any extra consideration, which by your actions, is obviously NOT.

[skw]

Originally Posted by amoeba

But now you got me curious so please help me understand. Once a person suffers an unfortunate stroke, is the placard provided long-term due to lack of mobility? Do people still use the placard if mobility is restored?

This is borderline straying from the original topic. But what you're asking can be a legit question. I'm not a medical professional but those that I have known that have suffered somthing of this nature, they're never the same. I've seen someone who's mobility was restored as in no longer having to use a wheel chair, but don't expect them to walk across the entire parking lot or up 2 flights of stairs. So someone in the position of the OP's wife, yes it was 2 years ago, and yes she may be better walking on her own, but we don't know what lingering effect there may be. It's possible to have her good days and her bad days. I say it's perfectly reasonable for her to keep the pass.

And as a bonus, OP is within his perfect right to park in the the handicap spot and help or walk w/ her into the store. However, correct me if I read it wrong, he parked the car elsewhere while they shopped. Only after shopping, before she came out, did he then go get the car and pull up to the handicap spot.

[amoeba]

Do they have permanent disability licenses in Canada? For something as severe and long-term as a stroke effects, California issues a permanent license instead of placard. I would say any disability lasting 2 years or possibly more should be granted a permanent plate instead.

[Benstuck]

Originally Posted by FC4

Most of you think you are being perceived a certain way just because you're driving a BMW when that's not really the case. But hey...that just speaks to the demographic.

Maybe if you live in the middle of nowhere, the village mechanic/locksmith/gynecologist might look at you funny drivin' one of them new fangled you-ro-peein cars.

Profiling/stereotyping exists. I get perceived differently if I pull up in my bmw vs my work truck. Just the way the world works.