Pre-rant intervention for this morning’s commute

[gallian93]

I’ve never done this before and I’m not even sure if the guy is on the forums but I figured Bush doctrine him before he comes on here and talks about the Douche bag who “cut him off this morning”

Advance apologies to those who are bored at the end of this

So here is the story… this morning I was merging on to I-467 (near philly) and as usual on that on-ramp traffic is backed up on the left lanes and the right passing lanes are open. So there was a big gap in the fast lane, so the guy in front of me and I took it. When I look in my rear view I see a gray M4 flying up behind me, so I think, “Man that looks nice!!!” But little did I know it was being piloted by an angry bird who was probably thinking, “How dare this guy get in front of me!!!"

So now he starts riding my ass, or at least he thinks he is, because he’s still at least one car length behind me, dropping gears and lurching the car forward trying to maybe, scare or intimidate me?

My first instinct is brake check but then I think “No! I am not a juvenile or a moron” the guy is pissed for some reason so let it be… then as traffic open he comes up next to and gives me, what felt like, a 50 to 60 second bird and he is shaking it at me as if to say “Do you see this!!!! Do you F’in see this!!! This is for you!!!” I guess I should have been pissed but I was slightly amused at how angry he was. I did him the favor and returned the universal M-car greeting and thought this was it…

But no… now Birdman is not done and wants to get in front of me, to probably teach me a lesson. He tries matches his rear quarter panel with me front and starts to try and get between me and the car in front of me…Mind you, we are still in rush hour, traffic has opened up a bit but could come to a screaming halt at the next bend. So I am not sure what he is trying to accomplish, but I figure enough is enough! I left half a car length in front of me to see if he’s wants it then close it, I’ll admit, not smart on my part. I could tell (or gambled) from the way he was "tailgating" me that his guy was no “awareness” of his car, i.e. in close quarters and high speed would chicken out….I was right, he did and couldn’t do it…but kept trying, the best part was that at some point he used his turn signal too... As if to say "Dude, I am trying to get ahead of you to extract revenge for your alleged disrespect of my awesome car! Could you please let me in, please?"

After a mile or so of “Waahhhh!!! I want to get in front of you!” and the poor guy in front of me thinking “What are these two A-holes behind me doing!!! I’m just trying to get to work” he drops a gear and does a “my car is faster than your car” and takes off…

At this point I get in to the right lane, accelerate and wave an apology to the guy I was tail gating (who probably flipped me off as a reply which I earned and I see birdman out in the distance. So case closed right? WRONG!!!

As traffic slows down I find myself behind birdman and slam! brake check! I figure, ok, get it out of your system, but then again and again, almost bringing me to a stand still on a major highway with cars come up my back side…

Traffic is flowing again and my exit is coming up in and then BRAKE CHECK…Now this is the embarrassing part, I do lose it and decide that it is my turn to teach some lessons… Lesson one: how to get in front to someone that has no idea about his car and thinks he is the top shit bird …. Step 1: down shift and get behind him…Step 2: go to right come up next to him Step 3: make sure something is ahead of him so he car out run you. Step 4(Don't try this at home!): Go left and start sharing his lane and bring your side view mirror next to his and hold. Step 5: See chicken-shit start to get scared drifting left toward the shoulder and start slowing. Step 6: with your rear quarter panel matched with his front keep matching speed and bearing left. Step 7&8(optional) continue Step 6 until the Moron is on the shoulder and then a hard left or get in front and do a proper brake check… Luckily me (and him) when I saw him chicken out I calmed down and thought “What the F am I doing???” and did not opt for the optional Step 7&8 I just got in front of him to prove I could do it (to whom?, I am not sure) and saw this childishness in what we were doing and let him do a “My car is so fast” by me again and took the exit.

I will admit that I should have just let this guy be what he is and just continued to go to work so mea máxima culpa. But again, i am ashamed to admit it but I will have to contend with the fact that i had a lot of fun driving to work today !!! Thanks Birdman!!!

[gatorfast]

CSB

[EJT86]

Come move to Massachusetts...you'll fit right in that's common street justice around here

[gallian93]

Originally Posted by gatorfast

CSB

lol...love it and deserve it!!! that what I'd have said if I'd have read this!!

Originally Posted by EJT86

Come move to Massachusetts...you'll fit right in that's common street justice around here

I did, 2006-2009 but was a Charlie-card-carrying D-bag then

[DSilk]

Jerks will be jerks and you can't control how they act. You can only control how you react to them, and while satisfying emotionally, returning birds and issuing brake checks is only bound to escalate things. I'm not sure what life is like in the City of Brotherly Love, but here in South Florida the consequences of pissing off a stranger could include getting shot. Best to let them vent and ignore them.

[Move Over]

Forgive my ignorance...What does CSB mean? It sounds funny. Lol.

[E46M3forRay]

Originally Posted by alxmlr789

Forgive my ignorance...What does CSB mean? It sounds funny. Lol.

[Tracyis300]

I guess he got mad for thinking you where hating on his M4 since your in a E9x M3.

I once had a encounter with a f80 M3 driver, but it was all about respect. Then it got better when a M5 driver merged on and we lined up taking 3 lanes.

[STooK]

But did his exhaust sound nice?

[Beemdog]

Originally Posted by STooK

But did his exhaust sound nice?

...as long as you think rice is nice.

[8k3]

Lol I'd take on almost any m4 . As long as they aren't a Pure car, even then traction sucks

[M3 Esq]

I admit I enjoyed this story.

[skidawgz]

You live in the Philadelphia tri-state... everybody is rude. I'm from Jersey and I avoid 76 highway at all costs. 476 is diff and I'm not sure what section you were on.

I'm going to take a different direction here and say to use Waze for your daily commute. You may end up discovering a much more fun way to get to work. The areas along the river are nothing but twists and turns. If you already knew that.... well ignore me!

[InnerBlueSkies]

Originally Posted by STooK

But did his exhaust sound nice?

They say a cross between a lawnmower and cow.

[burtonsbs5114]

I also enjoyed reading it!